Upon return

In my last blog I told you that my perigination of the UK was cut short due parental issues back here in the States. It was like this, 3 years ago my now 92 year old Dad, Eugene, seen in the opening page, took a digger down the alter steps at the family church, St. Bridget’s, Manchester Ct.  As church’s go, St B’s looks very churchish.  A classic white, New England Catholic church, with a great steeple, rows of granite steps to the front all sitting on a bit of a hill to make it seem even taller.   With a primary school and secondary alter on property. The church is a focal point in my family since we arrived in town, Mom, Dad and 3 year old me July 9, 1954 from Randolph and originally, Rolsindale, Massachusetts. I was an alterboy as I’m sure my younger brothers were.  My sister does so much within the community I can’t even follow. Mom and Dad were in almost every group between them. They only gave up the choir, for example, when the steps became too much.

Anyway, back to the digger. Dad ends up in hospital with a broken upper femur and then rehab.  His Dad broke his hip around the same age but he went in the hospital and never came out. Dad finds himself very reliant on a walker and very resistant to it’s use.  And his dementia that had been sneaking up on us for years  and had very obviously to all, had become Alzheimer’s. This combination of reduced physical abilities (he has two old artificial knees) with the Alzheimer’s has made keeping him safe a tasks that requires many players. The hearing loss brought on by being a rifle instructer in the USMC in WWII does help communication.

Add to that at 87 my mother who had rarely been sick her whole life was diagnosed with cirrosis.  Her decline would be inevitable.  It was just a matter of time.  Of fear.  Of work. Of sadness. Six months the doctors said probably not much more than that but they can’t forecast of course.  Too many variables, like my Mom.

I’m sure many of you have been through like circumstances of familial home care. By that I mean where the family works with the doctors, the nurses, the home care and personal aides to manage meals, safety, the detail of the actual needs.  Do this or that 5 – 10 minute activity everytime either gets up in the AM or to bed at night. Creates and participates in the scheduling of transport, food, bills and provides frequent onsite time helping or maybe just talking.  But a lot of presence.  This is how my clan does it  and since Mom is 89 Dad nearly 92 and still in the house, I guess we have been successful.  But it is serious work. Mom was thrilled to see me upon return but looked so very frail.  Told me she didn’t think she’d live long enough for me to return.  So glad I put a temporary hold on the trip.  That was a week ago and since then she’s done a quick trip to the ER to get rejuiced due to dehydration and she has been sitting in her chair and I’ve been showing her this blog.  I am so glad I went to Liverpool.  Some family member had shown her the pictures but she loved me giving the narration.